Lost In Beauty-

Monday, September 18, 2006

okay. so i haven't been updating much. but while i was living life these few days, one question has been going through my mind. why do i care? i mean, i'm migrating, leaving the country, why am i so obessed with getting good marks and getting by in school?the school in australia doesn't even check your marks to put you in a class. so why do i care?
i've been thinking, and i still haven't come up with an answer. maybe it's coz i'm just kiasu, or maybe i just want to do it coz i'm crazy. or maybe it's coz i've always been like this for exams. throughout my whole life of education, it's always been," you must get good marks....you must get good marks...study study study."
i don't know. i really don't know.
so many people have ask me this question and every single time they do, i am always at a loss for words. not knowing what to say. what to do. should i smile? should i shrug? should i frown and say," i have really no idea what you are talking about?"
i am now in a dilemma. when i get good marks for something, i'll be like...'yay!' but then later say" what's the use, i'm leaving alr. what's the point?" and when i get bad marks i'll be like..."oh shit." then later say," it's okay la, leaving alr what's the big prob?"
maybe it's my parents. they still expect good marks. at least i think they do...i'm not even sure how my parents will react if my marks are bad, or good?
sighs. somebody get me out of this.
p.s we managed to buy a chocalate fondue fountain thingy! yayes!

the beauty exposed ;